Friday, May 01, 2009

Dogs, Dogs, Wonderful Dogs!


Now that a Portuguese Water Dog puppy named Bo has been welcomed to the White House, dogs are very much in the news. Here are some nuggets of wisdom about these marvelous animals that give so much, ask so little, and are with us for such a cruelly short time:

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
--Harry S Truman (1884-1972), American president

It did not take Man long--probably not more than a hundred centuries--to discover that all the animals except the dog were impossible around the house. One has but to spend a few days with an aardvark or llama, command a water buffalo to sit up and beg or try to housebreak a moose, to perceive how wisely Man set about his process of elimination and selection. --James Thurber (1894-1961), American humorist and cartoonist

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. --Andy Rooney, American commentator

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our life whole. --Roger Caras (1928-2001), American naturalist and author

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
                                                              --Will Rogers (1879-1935), American humorist

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. --James Thurber

Dogs are obsessed with being happy. --James Thurber

He is very imprudent, a dog is. He never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or in the wrong, never bothers as to whether you are going up or down upon life's ladder, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him, and come luck or misfortune, good repute or bad, honor or shame, he is going to stick to you, to comfort you, guard you, and give his life for you if need be--foolish, brainless, soulless dog! --Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927), English novelist

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. --Margery Facklam, children's science author

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. --Sigmund Freud (1856-1924)

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. --Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.  --Robert A. Heinlein, American science fiction writer

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. --Unknown

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of being partly a dog. --Edward Hoagland, American essayist

He had as much fun in the water as any person I have known. You didn't have to throw a stick in the water to get him to go in. Of course, he would bring back a stick to you if you did throw one in. He would even have brought back a piano if you had thrown one in. -- James Thurber

Buy a pup and your money will buy you love unflinchingly. --Rudyard Kipling (1865-1935), English writer

Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish, a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and carefree as a dog. --James Thurber

You think dogs will not be in heaven! I tell you they will be there long before any of us. --Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally. --William Feather

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. --James Thurber

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. --George Bird Evans, outdoor essayist

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. --Will Rogers

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. --Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), American president

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. --Ann Landers

Muggs was always sorry, Mother said, when he bit someone, but we could never understand how she figured this out. He didn't act sorry. --James Thurber

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies. --Gene Hill

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. --Groucho Marx (1890-1977), American entertainer

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow! I never would've thought of that!" --Dave Barry

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963), English novelist

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. --August Strindberg (1849-1912), Swedish dramatist

 Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. --Mark Twain, pen name of Samuel L. Clemens (1835-1910), American humorist

Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of my fondest memories. --a former veterinarian

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. --Unknown

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. --Unknown

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. --Mark Twain

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. --John Steinbeck (1902-1968), American novelist

The more I see of the depressing stature of people, the more I admire my dogs. --Alphonse de Lamartine (1790-1869), French poet

I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs. --James Thurber

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends --Alexander Pope (1688-1744), English poet

Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this--no dog exchanges bones with another. --Adam Smith (1723-1790) Scottish politician, economist

The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too. --Samuel Butler (1835-1902), English writer

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance--a sharp, vindictive glance. --James Thurber

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. --Margot Kaufman, American writer

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of some weird religious sect. --Rita Rudner, American comedian

Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs. --Jerome K. Jerome

If you are a police dog, where's your badge? (Asked of his German shepherd) --James Thurber

When dogs leap onto your bed, it’s because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it’s because they adore your bed. --Alisha Everett

God ... sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better. --Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), Austrian poet

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. --Corey Ford (1902-1969), American writer

They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. --Jerome K. Jerome

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace. --Milan Kundera, Czech novelist

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them. --Phil Pastoret

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals. --James Thurber

There is no psychiatrist in the world quite like a puppy licking your face. --Ben Ames Williams (1883-1953), American novelist and journalist

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. --Josh Billings, pen name of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818--85), American humorist

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. --Franklin P. Jones

If dogs are not there, it is not heaven. --Elisabeth M. Thomas

Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a little bit out of shape, and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well. --Bonnie Wilcox

In his grief over the loss of a dog, a little boy stands for the first time on tiptoe, peering into the rueful morrow of manhood. After this most inconsolable of sorrows there is nothing life can do to him that he will not be able somehow to bear. ­­--James Thurber

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